Taos Bakes Protein Bar Health & Happiness Review

taos bakes snack health nutrition review

Alternate snacks from an alternate universe

Net carbs: 13 g      Added sugars: ??? g

Overall rating: 😍🥳🤩🛸🏜️




These are on some gourmet shit. Taos Bakes’ marketing copy says each of their bars takes years to perfect. I believe it.

It’s more difficult to work with each ingredient’s natural qualities and find a balance than it is to combine some stuff in a lab. Snaktak spent a few months making 2-5 batches of Dirtballs a day to finally unlock their transcendent flavor.

Based on the two TB flavors I sampled, pinon coffee +dark chocolate and caramel pecan + cranberries, these folks put in the work to craft delicious, well-balanced, vibrant flavors. 

The coffee flavor shines. It’s savory, bold, salty, complex, and nutty. It immediately energizes your palette in unexpected ways. I’m not sure if there’s caffeine in this, but it doesn’t need it. 

I’d love to try all of their flavors. TB is at war with pumpkin spice, which tells me they’re dedicated to giving customers something new, authentic, and unique. 

Pumpkin spice isn’t a bad flavor when it’s done right. The problem is lots of companies do a pumpkin spice flavor just to hop on the trend.

Do not buy food that someone sells simply because it is trendy. They’re not selling it with your best interests in mind.


Packaging appeal

I think the TB team and I are tapping into the same sort of intuitive understanding of how to sell snacks. Or maybe they have a good marketing firm. I don’t know.

The point is, these look great and make me want to eat them. 

The cartoon portraits are charming and channel an off-beat southwestern aesthetic that’s a breath of fresh air for most protein bar customers. These feel quirky and unique, not forced or focus-group tested. 

Honestly, I worked a little bit on a marketing team recently and the whole committee-based design process was just awful. You get a bunch of mediocre ideas and then everyone acts like combining four mediocre ideas somehow turns into one great idea. Trust me, though, that’s not how it works. 

This design feels like it evolved honestly and came from someone’s heart. Maybe they did design it in a committee and they just have a great team. 

It demonstrates great care that they have a unique blurb for each flavor. The “flavor facts” on the primary display panel (that’s food industry talk for “front) give you a colorful sense of the flavor you’re about to enjoy. 

Normally I would be mildly disgusted by the phrase “an alternate snack.” However, because it’s part of the slogan “an alternate snack from an alternate universe,” I can give it a pass. 


Ingredient quality

Yes. Very yes. As they say on their website, “Focusing on a delightful experience means we never, ever use a filler or base formula that’s dependent on rice, soy, or over-processed sugars.”

My one question about these snacks is the sugar content. The nutrition facts list no added sugars, but these contain honey, coconut sugar, and molasses. 

I wonder if you have to label added sugars if it’s natural stuff like honey or coconut sugar.

→  Hmmm, after a bit of research, it seems that Taos Bakes may not be FDA compliant with the added sugar labeling. But I’m also guessing they sell less than $10 mil of snacks a year, so they have until January 2021 to comply. 

TB, I know you’re “Not Here To Sell You On, Or Demonize Any Nutrient Or Ingredient,” but a lot of people want to know in detail how much sugar is in their food. 


Company practices

TB claims they care about making each product a delightful experience and I believe it. 

You can tell they’ve put energy into making their work charming and pleasant. One employee on their website is wearing a rugrats sweater and a huge smile. Great advertising. 

I want to be friends with these people. They are having fun and they’ve realized the secret truth of healthy food: “… non-GMO, organic, low calories, high protein…these things mean nothing if it tastes terrible.”

You don’t need to be a culinary martyr and eat raw hemp seeds all day to be healthy.

I think enjoying your food and being happy makes you healthier. Happiness is the absence of stress, and stress hurts your digestion, thus keeping you from fully absorbing all your nutrients. 

Are you fucking kidding me??? Sorry, I just looked at their blog and I’m overwhelmed by what a great company this is. Two notable articles from the blog: 

Taos Bakes stands for good snacks, happy kids, and connections to the natural world. WHAT A FUCKING GREAT COMPANY!!!



Yo, chow down, my friends. Throw away all other energy bars. Don’t even talk to me about CLIF. 

Taos Bakes are delicious, well portioned, and easy to eat. It’s strange how many snack foods miss these 3 key points. 

Why are yall making your bars so goddamn chewy? I ate one the other day that felt like greasy clay. It’s not a good snack if I burn more calories chewing it than are in the actual bar. 

Sorry to ramble about other companies in your review, TB. You just make it so obvious how these other companies are fucking up. 


Overall, Taos Bakes get a rating of 😍🥳🤩🛸🏜️

Thank you for reading 🙂 If you enjoyed this review, please share it on twitter or DM it to your friends. 

If you’d like to stay up to date with news and exciting info about healthy diets, strong communities, and connections to nature, please join our newsletter.