The other day, this Instagram post I made a few years ago crossed my mind. Valentine’s day always gets me thinking about love and sex.
I was trying to illustrate different stages of relationships and romantic connections. If I drew this diagram today I might structure it differently.
For example:
Friendship -> Emotional connection -> Sexual bond -> true love -> soul mate bond might be more accurate.
Relationships are complicated, though, and people take all sorts of paths. You might find yourself in something like this:
Sex -> Friendship -> True(?) love -> Breakup -> Reconnection -> Soulmate bond
I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how “modern relationships always start with sex, and hopefully romance comes later.”
The problem with this type of thinking, though, is it can mislead people to engage in relationships using methods that are untrue or harmful to themselves.
Also, businesses like Tinder have a direct financial incentive to create a culture of reckless hookups because kids grow up assuming this is the norm.
(This is not an anti-sex article. Sex is great, and you should have it if you want to. A lot of people do carelessly expend their sexual energy, though.)
Depending on the type of people you run with, some will tell you to engage in old-school romantic rituals, and some people will tell you to dispense with the pleasantries and get straight to the fucking.
What is love?
Ideally, everyone should understand what is right for them and be patient until they find the right person to connect with.
But there’s a lot of pressure both internally (from our biology) and externally (from society) to avoid being single and recklessly throw yourself into relationships.
That can work, and definitely does work for some people. But it’s not for everyone.
The thing I hate about valentine’s day is people feel pressured to engage in new relationships simply because it’s February 14th.
In the past, I did some cheesy disingenuous things to try and get laid or start a new relationship on Valentine’s day, and it always left me feeling hollow.
There’s definitely some merit to learning about your relationship preferences by connecting with different people in different ways.
This is a key aspect of what helps our souls develop to the point where we can create our ideal soulmate bond.
Soulmate vs. Soul bond
One perplexing aspect of love and relationships, though, is the way people fixate on the type of person they date rather than the type of relationship they create.
This is the concept of a “soulmate.” The danger in looking for a certain type of soulmate is that you might have the wrong idea about who your soulmate is.
I’ve been saying soul mate bond instead of soulmate for an important reason:
I believe there’s only one perfect relationship you can have in your life, but there are multiple people you could build that with.
The problem with looking for your soulmate in a type of person is that you really have no idea who someone is and what’s in their head.
People don’t often consider that a relationship is an energetic spiritual phenomenon people create together. The soulmate bond is one of the deepest, most powerful relationships people create together.
My soulmate bond is slightly different from your soulmate bond, and ours are drastically different from someone else’s.
There are far too many variables that impact one’s spiritual capacity for me to cover them all here. But when you and all of your spiritual influence collide with the right person to build that soulmate bond, magic happens.
Even though it’s possible to have a soulmate bond with multiple people, it may only be possible to have one soulmate bond in your life.
Or maybe the perfect union varies at different times in your life. One could argue, though that a true soulmate bond is one in which your soul and your partner’s soul grow together.
That sounds pretty perfect to me.
What do you think about love and relationships? Are soulmates a real thing? Leave your thoughts in the comments.