Give Snack Time A Remix!
Net carbs: 14 g Added sugars: 3 g
Overall rating: 😒😡🤢
Flavor
These crispy crunchers definitely taste good. They’re salty, savory, subtly nutty, and not overly sweet. The toasted seeds and grains give an excellent dose of hearty umami flavor.
Despite being the main ingredient, there’s not a lot of almond flavor. Mostly you get grain and salt flavors.
There’s not much to say. Nothing really stands out here. Clif Mojo crunch would make good airplane snacks on some bougie airline.
Puffed snacks all wind up tasting somewhat the same. The hot crispy air takes me back to familiar places.
Packaging appeal
CLIF Bar & Company has enough money to throw at good designers for their new products. This snack’s visual appeal is undeniable. It feels both modern and vintage with the clear 80’s throwback motifs.
It’s pretty obvious that this is designed to appeal to kids. The inclusion of a keytar front and center is likely intended to make you feel like you’re a rockstar for buying this.
Not only a rockstar but a coked-out big-haired leopard-print-spandex-wearing 80’s rockstar. Do you think Def Leppard ate Clif Mojo Crunch on the road?
Ingredient quality
Clif Bar is too big and they have compromised the integrity of their products in order to sell more. All Clif products now contain syrups and sweeteners.
Maybe this is a problem I’ll run into as I grow Dirtballs. Many food companies start out pure and eventually convert to the industrial doctrine of overprocessed sweeteners and binders.
Consumers associate CLIF with health, though, so it’s problematic that they violate people’s trust by including unhealthy ingredients.
As a rule, I avoid products that have too many sweeteners. Natural stuff like honey and coconut sugar are acceptable, but any syrup or cane sugar will usually make me avoid a product.
You might not consciously realize it, but your body knows when here’s junk in the food. Immediately after eating these, I could feel my gut biome reacting to the added sweeteners. I’m probably more attuned to this sensation than a lot of people, but your body doesn’t lie.
I felt the same after eating this as I did after eating an AWAKE Energy granola bar. These are both fake healthy products marketed to vulnerable young people.
Company practices
Clif is the Coca-Cola of energy bars. They paved the way for everyone and basically established the natural snacks category. For that I thank them.
Now they’re too fat and comfortable, though. They use their healthy reputation to cover up the fact that all their products are full of sweeteners and fillers.
I’m sure that CLIF does some good philanthropy work. I didn’t check honestly. I have a predetermined bias against this company, mostly because I’m an underdog and I need an enemy to overcome.
This product is a heavy-handed attempt by a fatcat corporation to invent a new type of snack. Snacking is an illusion, though.
People eat food and these food corporations try to hypnotize you into eating certain products when certain cravings come along.
Now the marketing Illuminati have all agreed that snacks are an entirely separate category of food. This food needs its own advertising, manufacturing, distribution and sales infrastructure to justify its existence.
The weird thing about markets is that marketers essentially teach us behavior and value systems that rope us into a market we never had to be a part of.
Clif had better practice losing market share because Dirtballs and other great products like Taos Bakes are coming to take over the snack universe.
Snackability
If I was in a rush, packing lunches for my kids this is the perfect product. This is obviously marketed toward children with the funky graphics and tiny portions.
I could not in good conscious feed my kid a product with tapioca syrup, corn syrup, and cane sugar in it though.
Overall, Clif Mojo Crunch gets a rating of 😒😡🤢