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Keep those cheeks dry!!!

Riding bikes makes you happy.

A team of researchers from Clemson and UPenn made this important discovery in 2014 while analyzing how different modes of transportation affect our moods.

But there’s one thing that can ruin any cyclist’s joyride: a wet seat 🙁

Back when I rode my bike to school I would dread the soggy backside that awaited me in the bike cage. While I shook my fist at the heavens I would often wonder, “Why hasn’t anyone solved this problem???”

As it turns out, my friend Melissa Prestinario has solved this problem. Forever. No more wet butts.

She invented the Seat-Slicker seat cover and now sells them online to cyclists everywhere. I’ll let her tell you a bit more about this amazing product:

Seat-Slicker is the first fashionable and waterproof bicycle seat cover. It protects your posterior and adds personality to your ride. The colors and patterns were custom created for you and evoke joy.

Solar is a warm summer day. It’s a new sun dress and fresh tan lines. It’s riding no hands down a big hill and snapping a selfie with sunspots reflecting off your lemon-flavored italian ice.

Sky is a day at the beach. Lapis blue water rolling up to sand and reflecting in the air. It’s a ride along the boardwalk with a stop at your favorite ice cream shop. The smell of the waves blends with sweet pistachio and you are enveloped in pure bliss.

Midnight is traditional. It’s as rich and timeless as Chanel No.5. Your mind wanders on a moonless night as owls fly silently among the trees.

Dusk is a ride through birch trees on a misty gray evening. It’s chilly yet exhilarating. Even as the temperature falls, your mood rises up when you think of the fireplace back home.

Ridge is a hardcore ride. It’s paving new paths in the woods through green ferns and dark trees. Look to your left, and you’ll see the salmon jumping out of the wild river to cheer you on as you push yourself up a rugged mountain trail.

There’s nothing like a bike ride to transport you to years gone by or new adventures. It brings out the kid in all of us. It symbolizes individual freedom to go wherever you want to go. And now with Seat-Slicker, you can enjoy all of that even on a rainy day.

Creating my own custom fabrics and prints brought me so much happiness. Every aspect was thoughtfully selected from the perfect Pantone color to the lines, dots and curves. I was proud to bring something to market that was loved by the consumer and also functional to provide protection for their saddle and clothes. Dress your bike up, dress it down, change its personality. Ride in the rain and look good doing it. I hope you will love Seat-Slicker as much as I do.

What else do you need to know? Even the most aesthetically strict hipster can find the right Seat-Slicker to protect their seat and keep those cheeks dry!

Seat-Slicker is officially SnakTak Certified to increase your happiness levels by at least 5%*.

You can buy it on the Seat-Slicker website, or on Amazon.

*as long as you use it properly and responsibly. These statements have not been evaluated by any doctors, lawyers, mystics, priests, or yogis.

Bulletproof your brain

Coffee is the world’s favorite drug, and we keep finding ways to make it better.

The latest caffeination innovation: Bulletproof coffee!

(sidenote: apparently caffeination isn’t in the dictionary 😧 that’s startling news)

Bulletproof coffee is any coffee drink mixed with fat that helps you metabolize the caffeine better. I first discovered it around 2016 in an article about putting butter in your coffee.

The entire bulletproof trend is Dave Asprey’s creation. Asprey is a silicon valley entrepreneur who has become a scion of biohacking and a keto evangelist.

He allegedly biohacked his way out of obesity and brain fog. It’s hard to argue against his results now that he seems to be extremely healthy and energetic.

I was skeptical about bulletproof at first, even after I explored the science of it. Putting butter in your coffee just sounds weird.

There is a lot of skepticism about bulletproof’s health benefits, and about keto diets in general. This is normal. Some people are predisposed to skepticism, and not everyone will benefit from a keto lifestyle.

Skeptics be damned

I’m entirely sold, though. As I write this, I’m drinking coffee with Bulletproof’s Brain Octane Oil in it. The caffeine boost I feel is more level, and I don’t feel as hungry as I normally do.

I started putting regular old coconut oil in my coffee recently, both for the flavor and the bulletproof benefits.

Dave Asprey will tell you that regular coconut oil isn’t good enough. He has a direct financial stake in you specifically buying his products.

A lot of folks report experiencing the same benefits by buying cheaper products. And I’m always one for saving a buck. It’s why I buy store-brand yogurt instead of the local organic probiotic brand.

Bullsh*tproof

Asprey is an entrepreneur and an extremely savvy marketer. And after my rigorous BS inspection, I’d give him and his business a B+/A- on thruthiness.

His claims about mycotoxins in normal coffee are exaggerated at best and lies at worst.

But here’s the thing: I don’t care about that!

If I had the money I would be buying bulletproof coffee all day and virtue-signaling my extremely healthy lifestyle to everyone all the time!!!!! That’s what it’s about, people!

I could buy a cheaper MCT oil, just like I could buy a cheaper knockoff android smartphone. But I’m not going to do that. I want an iPhone and bulletproof branded products so everyone can tell instantly how affluent and healthy I am.

(Oddly enough, bulletproof is more expensive when you buy it in bulk. On amazon the 3 oz. container is 0.47/oz while the 32 oz is 1.53/oz. Weird.)

Bulletproof’s worst-case scenario is that it’s all an expensive placebo. I’m completely fine with that.

There’s a substantial body of research that demonstrates placebos work, even when we know they’re placebos!

Our brains are superpowered adaptation machines. By giving ourselves some sort of miracle substance we actually prime our brains to improve our health. In the case of Bulletproof coffee, drinking this buttery concoction might just make you think you’re reducing hunger, improving performance, and becoming a superhero.

That actually might be the secret of biohacking and nootropics. You create a framework in your life to drive confirmation bias that the things you’re doing really improve your health and performance.

I always go back to crystal healing when discussing placebos. I know that there is no real tangible impact that crystals have on my health.

However,I always feel better after I go through the process of researching a crystal’s metaphysical benefits and buy that crystal. Amethyst helps me get in a thoughtful state, rose quartz makes me feel loved, and moss agate helps my plants grow faster.

While you debate whether or not this stuff works, I’ll be over here sipping bulletproof mochas and examining my new carnelian spheres.